Sunday, April 3, 2011

Justin Bieber Will be in Rehab at Age 30

A 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll found that 30% of Americans think Justin Bieber will be in rehab by the time he’s 30 (“Fat and bald” was another popular choice), which seems rather harsh since the 17-year-old has never even been spotted holding a beer or grinding with his manager. 60 Minutes, you should be ashamed of yourself. We expect this kind of catty speculation from Vanity Fair, but not you.

Here’s hoping he will soon retreat back to Ontario and make little Canadian babies with the girl next door while commuting to his Tim Hortons managerial job on a moose. Either that, or getting hit by a train.

In Celebrity Rehab                         30%
Married, living quietly                     18
Still playing packed stadiums     13
Fat and bald                                    12
Talk-show host                                 8
Not sure                                           19


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