Thursday, April 7, 2011

Angelina Jolie’s Tattoo Causes Speculations That She is Adopting Another Child | Best Celebrity Scoop

Some people might have seen the tattoo that Angelina Jolie has on her shoulder listing the latitude and longitude where each of her six kids were born. Well what new ink through yonder camera lens breaks? It is Angelina Jolie, with a seventh line to her tattoo on her left shoulder. Why yes, yes it is!
Visiting Libyan refugees in Tunisia, Angie revealed that she has added a seventh coordinate to her stack of six. The first six corresponds with the birthplaces of her six children (Cambodia, Vietnam, Ethiopia, Namibia, and France twice, for the twins) so who is the seventh one for? In Touch says it’s for Brad Pitt:
”She got the seventh line right around the time she and Brad moved the kids back to LA,” and it “signifies family unity.”
All I can make out is the latitude, 35N, which corresponds with Brad’s birthplace in Oklahoma. But the 35th parallel also goes through Tunisia; war-torn Iraqi city Tikrit; famed Moroccan metropolis Casablanca; Chinese Silk Road terminus Xian; and Mt. Fuji. Thus, we can safely conclude that Brangelina is adopting the Tunisia-born love child of Marco Polo and a Fuji mountain man, conceived while watching Casablanca and to the soundtrack from Oklahoma in a hovel in Iraq.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Justin Bieber Will be in Rehab at Age 30

A 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll found that 30% of Americans think Justin Bieber will be in rehab by the time he’s 30 (“Fat and bald” was another popular choice), which seems rather harsh since the 17-year-old has never even been spotted holding a beer or grinding with his manager. 60 Minutes, you should be ashamed of yourself. We expect this kind of catty speculation from Vanity Fair, but not you.

Here’s hoping he will soon retreat back to Ontario and make little Canadian babies with the girl next door while commuting to his Tim Hortons managerial job on a moose. Either that, or getting hit by a train.

In Celebrity Rehab                         30%
Married, living quietly                     18
Still playing packed stadiums     13
Fat and bald                                    12
Talk-show host                                 8
Not sure                                           19